Saturday, May 06, 2006

Kali Topi

Girls, girls and girls...i am fucking tired of this gender.
Day and night only one thing revolves around my skull these days,
Girls, girls and more girls.
Aaj kissi se pyar hua to kal kissi se. Aaj isko dekh ke laga ki yeh hai mere sapno ki rani, to kal usko dekh kar. Roz ka sala yahi silsila hai...

Chalo bhai log aaj apun tumko ek ishtory sunata hai....

“Confessions of a dangerous mind” and it goes like this..

Bahut din pehle ki baat hai ki....
....I came late from my office and thought "enough-is-enough". I gotta do something about we have a broadband connection at home. So I thought I will do something about it today.
I opened an account in, and searched for all the girls in the town and invited quite a few of'em.

The very next day I got one decent response. She gave me her Yahoo id. I took her number and called her the same night. That was one BRAVE move from me. I gathered all my guts in my nuts and asked her "So, when are we meeting? she said "hmm lets say this weekend" Ok I felt like James Bond that day. Friend was obviously amazed (and me too ...kinda).

Wokey ...Friday night I called her and confirmed the venue.
It's time!!!! It took 30 minutes and two full buckets of water that day for me to take bath.
Deo, hair styling and final get up. All took 1 hour and 30 minutes. Wokey, kicked started my cycle and parked it at the venue.

The problem was, it was a blind date and I haven’t seen her picture yet. She had seen mine though!!
I called her and she said she is standing in front of Food world at MG Road.
That moment, my friendo!, I could feel blood running cold through my veins.
I was thinking "Pata nahi dekhne mein kaisi hogi. Usko apni identity kuch aur batata hoon taki kaali bhains nikli to door se dekh ke hi bhag lunga" But I could not lie that day. Ok, I reached there and gazed. One girl was talking over phone and looked at me and I looked at her. Thats how we met first time. We had buffet somewhere around and as always I could not speak much. She complained about it same night over the phone. So after that day, it was like daily routine to talk over phone for about 2-3 hours...every damn night!!! And she was the one who use to make the call all the time. Then again we met and again and again. I started talking to her little bit more. I was feeling happy ki "Saala apun bhi londi pata liya, londi ke sath movie dekha...bas apun khuuus".

Ek din Friend bola saala kabhi Bullet pe bhi ghuma. I requested her so many times to sit on my Bullet. I use to do all the dare talks over phone only and for more daring talks I use to send SMSs. Like “How if I hold your hand next time” She replied “I would not be afraid if you hold my hand but dear, I am very much confident that you do not have guts to do that” I said okieyhh!

While leaving for Date, Friend said "saaley is baar uska haath pakad ke aana nahi to apni shakal mat dikhana".

We met again, saw some movie and roamed around the city. All the time I was thinking how to hold her hand..while watching movie, eating, roaming…all the time. But could not gather enough guts.

It was already late and she had to leave so I requested to drop her. She agreed and Man, I could see the happiness on ma Bullet's headlights. It was a long drive about 15-20 KMs but NICE! I dropped her and reached home. And about same night, I got SMS from her “Girish, we are meeting for quite some time now. So what have you decided about your relationship” I was stunned and could not think what to do. I decided I won’t reply her. Sometimes my behaviour is so cheap. She kept calling me but it not pick it up. And next day morning I replied “See, payal, you are a nice girl but I have some priorities and I could not think of marrying for atleast two years. She called me instantaneously and she was FURIOUS “Why you did this to me ? why you met me if don’t want to get into a relationships??” I tried to calm her down but all in vain. She cried that day and I felt bad too. It was all my fault. I am crazy doing anything to get girls.

Next day, She tried to compromise and asked me to meet again so that we can work out something. But I said “No payal, I'm sorry but I have my priorities and your parents want you to marry soon. So I don’t think anything can be sort out. And if we meet again we will just hurt each other. Payal, you are a good girl and I am sure, you will find a better guy than me.” That was the last message I sent to her.

Thats how it ended. See, loser again.
I kept those movie tickets with me that I saw with my first ever date until one fine day, Laxmi Amma washed my t-shirt!

Time goes by and it healed the pain. Then again office mein ladki achi hai, bahar achi hai…

Aajkal naya shaouk chada hai ka kal phir se bahut saari ladkiyo ko invitation bhej diya ek to bahut pasand aa gay…jammu ki hai lekin reply nahi karti .

Abhi tum log sochta hoyenga ki ye bawrey ne topic ka naam kya rakha hai “Kali Topi”.

To bhai log, jab apun yeh article likh raha tha, tab apun Kali topi pehne tha.

Sorry for the cheap humour but I can’t help it.



abhishek said...

just one response.hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahhahaahahha
best of luck n hahahahahaha

$@%#&(*! said...

Well that wasn't anything new u did.... it's your true part of living, u shared... but i can see u, too are not different from common guys!!!!!!!!!!

ha ha ha ha

Girish said...

Well people, This is Democracy...have ur say.

Shiven said...

SHIVEN: lemme call on stage the man again; one more time... we have the real lucky guy on stage…everyone please standup and welcome …… noneother than GIRI!!

GIRI: well, thank you everyone. I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have been with me always, both in my moments of sorrows and triumphs.
I want to thank Yash raj films and Yash ji for giving me a break, it would not have been possible otherwise. I thank my mama, my papa and my grandma for bringing me up..and..and.. how could I forget tommy, my sweet lil puppy who helped me stay in shape all these years. We used to jog together ;-)

I want to thank Laxhmi Amma, the maid who cooks for me...

Ahumm! Sorry GIRI, wish we had some more time. We have a few other awards in line…so wud u mind xcusin us

...he walks down.

ps: Giri, that ws FUN! btwn, did I hear COMMON??

satya said...

maaaaaaaan !!
tat was fuckin hilarious
its been half an hour.
and i can't stop laughing till now..

i made an account right now just to reply to ur blog ..
hats off to u :-)
was awesome ..

Girish said...

Tommy, i'll see you. Let me finish office work.

Ankur said...

I am a male chauvenistic prick and so are you. But still I will express my reservations on this one. was not a good hunting ground. It was serious stuff.

Time hai sudhar ja !.

dwai said...

man .... fockin' silly one... good read ..
P.S : my blogz at Flip Flop! these dayz..