When you are in a hole, your (empty) brain makes more noise, and these noises are what i am trying to throw out to the void, while i was walking on the streets in the tipsy evening. A thought among thoughts is, that i feel i am a clown and for that matter every damn body is a clown in this world. There are two types of them, one who know they are clown, but pretend not to be, others like buffoons, know that they are clowns and they behave like clowns. Everybody is born clown, but some remain so...like this guy with a mole on his left cheek, with his expressive eyes (as they say), but in reality they express nothing but despair and emptyness. I want to confess today that i am a clown, can't you see those marks on my face with lips sticked red with white colour surround them?, with a red cherry grown on top of my nose? and my fairy coloured hairs? don't you laugh on everything i say or everything i do? don't you say "hey dear clown, your life is a parody". Yes, you do notice that and one thing that you don't notice is that you too are a clown. May be clever than me, may be ring master beats you less with hunter, but we all obey his rules. He sends you to this circus to perform and survive. Once you finish your show he is gonna see you backstage. May be at that time you will realise.
Do you remember when you were a child and saw this wild dream that you are falling from some hill and that you are gonna die? but then all of sudden you wake up and feel happy that all that you saw was just a dream and nothing is gonna happen to you and you go to your mother and sleep on her lap which makes you forget that wild dream? But today you are young and grown clown. Today when you see the same dream and you wake up, you realize that this is the truth and we can't escape it? and you have no mother's lap to comfort you.
Dude you finish your show and your game will be over. You will vanish to the void, like thousands of your thoughts. You are helpless, disgraced and a befooled clown. You don't run this circus, you don't get second chance and ringmaster is harsh, he is gonna put you in hell. Having said that, i feel anyways i know i am gonna go to hell, why should i perform at the stage where thousand of phonies watching you.
See, dear blog, i never wanted to confuse you. My point is clear. I accept to be a clown but i will play on my terms, on my stage for my audience and i don't work with ringmaster, i defy him, he is a liar, ditcher and punisher, don't you remember his spiralled hunter made up of horse hairs and buffalo skins?
Today all you have is this limited time on this stage called "World".
"This world is a circus and we all are clowns and clowns."