|Since I saw you is a long while ago,|
You, walking down that road
Looking down your toe,
And me, watching you from the distance.
You looked so beautiful,
A cute little school girl
You looked so beautiful,
in that school dress.
My heart beats to your steps,
I watch you coming closer to me
I watch you passing by me,
You sometimes give that look to me
I watch you going down the road
You sometimes look back to see, if am there
That was a sweet moment of my life
I know you loved me as much as I did
I know you are angry with me,
For not holding you in my arms
For not kissing your hands,
For not kissing your lips
For hurting you, my dear I know
Now how I wish, I could see you again walking down that road
And since I saw you is a long while ago,
And since you walked that road to my heart, is a long while ago.
(For my faded love memories, for my false love, for my true confession, for my innocence, for my insanity, for you...)
Friday, May 26, 2006
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Day and night only one thing revolves around my skull these days,
Girls, girls and more girls.
Aaj kissi se pyar hua to kal kissi se. Aaj isko dekh ke laga ki yeh hai mere sapno ki rani, to kal usko dekh kar. Roz ka sala yahi silsila hai...
Chalo bhai log aaj apun tumko ek ishtory sunata hai....
“Confessions of a dangerous mind” and it goes like this..
Bahut din pehle ki baat hai ki....
....I came late from my office and thought "enough-is-enough". I gotta do something about it...now we have a broadband connection at home. So I thought I will do something about it today.
I opened an account in shaadi.com, and searched for all the girls in the town and invited quite a few of'em.
The very next day I got one decent response. She gave me her Yahoo id. I took her number and called her the same night. That was one BRAVE move from me. I gathered all my guts in my nuts and asked her "So, when are we meeting? she said "hmm lets say this weekend" Ok I felt like James Bond that day. Friend was obviously amazed (and me too ...kinda).
Wokey ...Friday night I called her and confirmed the venue.
It's time!!!! It took 30 minutes and two full buckets of water that day for me to take bath.
Deo, hair styling and final get up. All took 1 hour and 30 minutes. Wokey, kicked started my cycle and parked it at the venue.
The problem was, it was a blind date and I haven’t seen her picture yet. She had seen mine though!!
I called her and she said she is standing in front of Food world at MG Road.
That moment, my friendo!, I could feel blood running cold through my veins.
I was thinking "Pata nahi dekhne mein kaisi hogi. Usko apni identity kuch aur batata hoon taki kaali bhains nikli to door se dekh ke hi bhag lunga" But I could not lie that day. Ok, I reached there and gazed. One girl was talking over phone and looked at me and I looked at her. Thats how we met first time. We had buffet somewhere around and as always I could not speak much. She complained about it same night over the phone. So after that day, it was like daily routine to talk over phone for about 2-3 hours...every damn night!!! And she was the one who use to make the call all the time. Then again we met and again and again. I started talking to her little bit more. I was feeling happy ki "Saala apun bhi londi pata liya, londi ke sath movie dekha...bas apun khuuus".
Ek din Friend bola saala kabhi Bullet pe bhi ghuma. I requested her so many times to sit on my Bullet. I use to do all the dare talks over phone only and for more daring talks I use to send SMSs. Like “How if I hold your hand next time” She replied “I would not be afraid if you hold my hand but dear, I am very much confident that you do not have guts to do that” I said okieyhh!
While leaving for Date, Friend said "saaley is baar uska haath pakad ke aana nahi to apni shakal mat dikhana".
We met again, saw some movie and roamed around the city. All the time I was thinking how to hold her hand..while watching movie, eating, roaming…all the time. But could not gather enough guts.
It was already late and she had to leave so I requested to drop her. She agreed and Man, I could see the happiness on ma Bullet's headlights. It was a long drive about 15-20 KMs but NICE! I dropped her and reached home. And about same night, I got SMS from her “Girish, we are meeting for quite some time now. So what have you decided about your relationship” I was stunned and could not think what to do. I decided I won’t reply her. Sometimes my behaviour is so cheap. She kept calling me but it not pick it up. And next day morning I replied “See, payal, you are a nice girl but I have some priorities and I could not think of marrying for atleast two years. She called me instantaneously and she was FURIOUS “Why you did this to me ? why you met me if don’t want to get into a relationships??” I tried to calm her down but all in vain. She cried that day and I felt bad too. It was all my fault. I am crazy doing anything to get girls.
Next day, She tried to compromise and asked me to meet again so that we can work out something. But I said “No payal, I'm sorry but I have my priorities and your parents want you to marry soon. So I don’t think anything can be sort out. And if we meet again we will just hurt each other. Payal, you are a good girl and I am sure, you will find a better guy than me.” That was the last message I sent to her.
Thats how it ended. See, loser again.
I kept those movie tickets with me that I saw with my first ever date until one fine day, Laxmi Amma washed my t-shirt!
Time goes by and it healed the pain. Then again office mein ladki achi hai, bahar achi hai…
Aajkal naya shaouk chada hai orkut.com ka kal phir se bahut saari ladkiyo ko invitation bhej diya ek to bahut pasand aa gay…jammu ki hai lekin reply nahi karti .
Abhi tum log sochta hoyenga ki ye bawrey ne topic ka naam kya rakha hai “Kali Topi”.
To bhai log, jab apun yeh article likh raha tha, tab apun Kali topi pehne tha.
Sorry for the cheap humour but I can’t help it.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Long time back when I was small, and very new to this world, I use to go to unknown place ...alone.
If I remember correctly when I was about about 6 or 7, I was living in my village for a year or so as my father was on deputation and we had to stay with our Grands. My village was a very calm place with beautiful nature, big hills, tall trees, and rivers. I was always attracted to that calmness and wanted to explore it but as I was small, my parents always keep an eye on me. But in the afternoons when everybody goes to sleep, I use to pick up my small multi-colored-umbrella (gifted to me by my sweet granny) and runaway to the unknown places, to find those unexplored hills and for you to know, I do not fear. I was brave. I find the tall tree, big hill so cool. After reaching middle of the jungle, I use to sit under the big trees, sleep over the dry leafs from those big trees, which gives me the warmth of silk and embrace of mother. Lying there for hours, I used to dream and dream and dream. Sometimes I see the big caravan of the afghani tribals moving down the hills with their families, animals and other stuff. I used to feel good watching the caravan. All in queue coming down the hill. My grandmother use to tell me that these Afghans live far away up the hills and come down during winters only. Sitting at top of the hills and watching the whole world down under my feet at the age of 7-8 makes feel great. I can never forget that feeling ever. Then one fine day, my father came down and took us to the Ultra modern era and to hell lot of places.
Time goes by and I was growing big in that automated world but that fire, that urge, that feeling to runaway somewhere alone was still there. Then one good day, my father brought me BSA-SLR after a long tussle with him. And man I knew by that time that I have got my dream machine which will take me to those places that I craved for a long long time. I still remember the first ride on my BSA-SLR (crenchy style :) ). Then what? I use to come from school, take my lunch, wait for everybody to go for afternoons sleep and runaway...
Hot afternoons, empty roads and me on my BSA-SLR, alone, going to nowhere. I had bought one black goggles. Damn! !! cool.....
My father sometimes use to beat the hell out of me for doing all this crazy stuff. Some people still remember me as the BSA SLR guy :)
And when I go to my village these days, some old people still remember me as that Umbrella child. All of those oldies are my friend now. Whenever I visit there, I make sure I meet them and have fun!
I was growing old and losing everything inside me. When you grow up you got to do weird things you know. My father wanted me to become something and hell lot of other things that I won't discuss here. The point is, I was losing on me. Emptiness was filling me. I was becoming depressed moron for so many reasons and I started to fear loneliness, started hating my inner being and so many things. I really do not remember my time after that till some time back when I again realized my dream. My dream of going to explore things, dream of running away somewhere.
I started loving my loneliness, the calmness, the trees, the hills, exploring new places, and so many more unexplained things. I have nothing today but dream that is keeping me alive. And I have the means to achieve it.
You know what? Big boy got a big machine these days
and he will runaway…
Chal DIL mere choD Yeh Pheeree
Yeh duniya jhooti loog lutareey
Chal DIL mere choor Yeh Pheere
Yeh duniya jhooti loog lutareee
Chal DIL mereeeee