Thursday, November 15, 2007

Sunday, September 30, 2007


They say war is a bad thing. I don’t think so. I think war is a good thing. In fact I see a strong possibility of world war III in coming years. And this would be the last war of the world that we’ll know…a nuclear war. I think North Korea will trigger this war. I may be wrong, but i have this hunch.

Anyways, i was saying war is a good thing. Imagine tomorrow war is declared on us. Then what would happen? Everybody will be called to join Army and serve the country. I would be the most happy person as i always wanted to join Army. But above all, i would be happy because we all will be together and fighting for the same cause, It would be like we all are back into college life. Eating cheap food in the Army mess, sharing the rooms and bathrooms, waking early morning and going for the drills and then on the fields for missions. Imagine what a fun it would be when you would go for a mission. You will have nothing to worry about…your career, future, family, ego and other goddamn things. You will just be free in the deserts with heavy army uniform and guns given with freedom to shoot any damn body you want. We will have a map, vehicles, arms and brothers. We’ll sit together on the desert ground and chart out the strategy for the mission. All day long we will fight, get injured, killed, kill and survive. And then when dawn fall, we will find a shelter in the desert jungle and lit the fire. We’ll get drunk, play guitar, sing, dance around the fire. We’ll discuss about what we did with our life after college and how we screwed it. How we missed each other, how we missed everything that we had in our young times. We’ll talk about everything from our lost love, to lost brothers in the battle fields. And next day morning we will wake up hearing the gunshots and dropped bombs from the planes flying high up above in the skies. We’ll shake hands with looking into each others eyes as we’ll know that today some of us will not make it to the night for the toast. And then we will disappear into the battlefields to take our positions with the troops and fight.
We’ll not be afraid but happy that we will live today the way we wanted and die the way wanted our end to be…

Saturday, September 08, 2007

last bus home...

Every night when i leave my office for home, i walk to the bus stop and whenever i walk, i start thinking, thinking about all kind of shit in this world. I put on my cheap FM/AM radio to avoid but it does'nt help at all..with every new song, i start thinking about every new shit. but i love it, i love my last bus home...i mostly catch the same time bus, so obviously the driver is always same and so the people who travel in it. This develops a kind of association, a strange kind of association, you talk with each other without speak a word.

This driver, is a old white guy may be around 55-60 yrs, has grown his mustache and beard. I don't know his name but i would love to call him "Joe". I kind of like him ...whenever you board the bus, he welcomes you inside with the smile and when you get off, he will always say "have a good day/night" I kind of see a father figure in him. Then there is another old black lady who boards from the first station i guess and sits next to the driver. She laughs like a Dracula ...sometimes she scare the shit out out of me when i am sleeping after a hard day's work. I don't know what to call her...lets call her "Aunty D". She always crack a joke or laughs over the joke cracked by someone else sitting around her. Then there is another sweet girl who boards the bus from mall, i guess she works there as some certified technician....whatever...but she is sweet, very young, 20-23 yrs of age may be. lets call her "Anna". So, Anna is sweet... I always stare at her from the last seat. It makes me feel so young, so good.

And then there is another punk who boards the bus from very next stop ...he looks like a gay to me but he seems not ...he wears a short hairdo, always hang an aviator light-brown glasses over his head, wears a cunning look, sharp eyes hunting for girls all the time. ummm lets call him...i donno...lets call him "dude" for the time being. "Dude" always tries to talk to Anna and i kinda hate this...and Anna too and aunty D too...i mean whenever he see some women in the bus, he try to catch her attention and start bothering her. I must see "Dude" off the bus sometime....motherhucker...anyways, there are many other people who comes in or out of the bus but they are not regular except the people i mentioned above and "Jannie". Now, who the fuck is Jannie? Well ...Jannie boards from the next station... :-)

She always wear her glasses whether its a day or night or whatever. She is chubby but lovely. First time i caught her attention when she was walking inside the bus for the seat towards me and she smiled when our eyes met. Only later i found that she was smiling for someone else on the other side of the phone ...whatever...i kind of like her. I kinda hooked her ;-) she sits next to my seat and i always daydream/night dream while sitting behind her. Today she was wearing white top and maroon(ed) skirt. Jannie was eating something and was trying to open the bottle cork but could not open it. I thought this is the time dude... ask her for help..ask ..ask...and "tappp"....there she opened the mother*****r cork. I heard someone yelling " loser!!!" or may be its just my imagination...or whatever...

I love it all....i love to see outside from the big window glasses of bus, i love skyscrapers outside, reflection of sunlight from hudson river, falling on them. I love dark empty roads, streets and city lights.

I love to fall asleep on the back seat with my head resting on the big window. I love to listen my FM which plays Led Zepp stuff most of the night time. One by one everybody get off the bus. My stop is almost at the end of route. last 15 minutes of it is like i am alone sitting in the bus with Joe on the driver's seat. One thing about Joe i liked is that he never looked tired even though he is aged, even though he drives that big blue bus all day long...i wonder.... and i wonder about so many other bullshit things in this goddamn world...

Joe: "hey" ...(Joe stops the bus and shout as i fell asleep again....)

me: "ohh....thanks Joe, see you tommorow...have a good one"....

Joe: you too buddy...

Saturday, July 14, 2007

This world is a...

When you are in a hole, your (empty) brain makes more noise, and these noises are what i am trying to throw out to the void, while i was walking on the streets in the tipsy evening. A thought among thoughts is, that i feel i am a clown and for that matter every damn body is a clown in this world. There are two types of them, one who know they are clown, but pretend not to be, others like buffoons, know that they are clowns and they behave like clowns. Everybody is born clown, but some remain this guy with a mole on his left cheek, with his expressive eyes (as they say), but in reality they express nothing but despair and emptyness. I want to confess today that i am a clown, can't you see those marks on my face with lips sticked red with white colour surround them?, with a red cherry grown on top of my nose? and my fairy coloured hairs? don't you laugh on everything i say or everything i do? don't you say "hey dear clown, your life is a parody". Yes, you do notice that and one thing that you don't notice is that you too are a clown. May be clever than me, may be ring master beats you less with hunter, but we all obey his rules. He sends you to this circus to perform and survive. Once you finish your show he is gonna see you backstage. May be at that time you will realise.

Do you remember when you were a child and saw this wild dream that you are falling from some hill and that you are gonna die? but then all of sudden you wake up and feel happy that all that you saw was just a dream and nothing is gonna happen to you and you go to your mother and sleep on her lap which makes you forget that wild dream? But today you are young and grown clown. Today when you see the same dream and you wake up, you realize that this is the truth and we can't escape it? and you have no mother's lap to comfort you.

Dude you finish your show and your game will be over. You will vanish to the void, like thousands of your thoughts. You are helpless, disgraced and a befooled clown. You don't run this circus, you don't get second chance and ringmaster is harsh, he is gonna put you in hell. Having said that, i feel anyways i know i am gonna go to hell, why should i perform at the stage where thousand of phonies watching you.

See, dear blog, i never wanted to confuse you. My point is clear. I accept to be a clown but i will play on my terms, on my stage for my audience and i don't work with ringmaster, i defy him, he is a liar, ditcher and punisher, don't you remember his spiralled hunter made up of horse hairs and buffalo skins?

Today all you have is this limited time on this stage called "World".

"This world is a circus and we all are clowns and clowns."

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Ghost rider

What da hell….saturday night , no high? and i am gonna waste sunday also? But what to do? Its already 10:30 in the night….

So i decided i’ll go for a moonlight ride on Old Madras Road on the outskirts of Bangalore and will ride a 40 or 50 odd km, and come back fresh enough to get a nice sleep.

I pushed the kick rod and 500 cc thumped out the music that i always love to listen. And the engine was revving up on outskirts of Bangalore in few minutes after.

I love night drives, the yellow street lights lightning the empty roads, the dark sky, the dusky moon looked like a brim of white light god throws on you, the avenue and all this was here with 500cc daemon beneath my ass.

I took off my helmet to feel the fresh air on my face. The strong gush of air on my face, was just washing out all the pain away…and i felt like i am listening some kind of opera…i could hardly see anything except few yards on roads but after few kms i was on the road where there was nothing except a dark road….i could hardly make out but there was dry fields on both side of road, small rocky mountains all around and that unique smell of air that i always love to smell.

And while all that was going on in my mind, i realised that i am 100+km away from Bangalore and it was already 12:00 am in the night. And then i saw this milestone which says Chennai 260kms. I called up nikhil and he said come down to Chennai. While talking to nikhil i realised that i am standing just beside the graveyard and there was not even a vehicle coming on that road, i was all alone …man i kicked my machine hard and ran away.

I was wearing nothing except my loose 501 Jeans, slippers and a thin Tee and i was shivering like a poor puppy in the rain. But i decided to move on and i rode with my chest wide open facing all that.

And then while all this was going on my mind, i saw a turn again to two direction. One to Chennai and another to Tirupathy in AP. I donno what happened to me and i starting thinking which direction to take to? Chennai? where i have been many times before or to a new place in AP? Tirupathi? But atheist like me….how can i expect something like that from myself? But i don’t know since last few months, i had this feeling that i should go to Tirupathi and i don’t know why? Hmmm was confused and then i called Nikhil….it was 1:00 am and nikhil did not pick up the call and then i heard God calling me . So…..i …took…. left…all the way to Tirupathi…

I reached Tirupathy 5:30 am in the morning , took a hotel to get some sleep before i go to the Hill top where there is this famous temple of Balaji, Lord Venkateshwara!!!!

But the moment i closed my eyes, some guy knocked my door. It was tough but i opened my eyes and opened the door. This guy with a ugly smile on his face asked “Saara, hot water is coming take a bath please”. God…i just slept and why the hell would i need the hot water to take bath in AP where the mercury was rising upto 45 degrees? Bastard… i smashed the door on him without saying anything. After an hour i guess, again some bugger starting knocking my door…uffff i was’nt even able to open my eyes but i opened the door. Again a new guy with same ugly smile “Saara, Tea Saara?”…Bh****dika….i would have killed him for sure…..anyways i could not sleep properly and i woke up after 2-3 hours, took a bath and went up to the Hill.

The road is great to Hill top… well maintained. After i reached there i come to know that you need to be there in a queue for “Darshan”…ok…i went there and pass through the security and entered the waiting Hall and what i saw there left me numb..a thousand of people waiting for their turn….and i was like..GOD!!!…then someone told me that you can get a 50/- ticket and save some of your time….i went to 50/- queue and this security guard stopped me and aksed for the tickets. I thought i will pay here and get the tickets but to my dismay….tickets has to be taken from all the way down the Hill…..And there i lost my patience…with naked foot, i walked out.

I took a lunch and after lot of thinking, i decided to move back as i had to attend the Monday office meetings and i could not drive after another night out.

I came back with sad feeling and it was hot like anything. On NH206, the strong hot air like fire, was hitting me hard and making me weak.

I was on NH4 after few hours and felt good, the rain god were kind …

Then rest of the route was enjoying….i stopped at CCD, rode through the serene roads, flowers falling on the road and cold air….wow!!! and boy…i was singing loud…straight from my heart …talking to myself all the while, making music for the songs i have written and bumping……aah i reached Bangalore at 7:00 in the eve and felt fresh!!!!!


Friday, May 04, 2007

Land ho!

Grandma loved a sailor who sailed the frozen sea.
Grandpa was that whaler and he took me on his knee.
He said son Im going crazy from living on the land
Got to find my shipmates and walk on foreign sand.
This old man was graceful with silver in his smile.
He smoked a briar pipe and he walked four country miles
Singing songs of shady sisters and old town liberty
Songs of love and songs of death, songs that set men free.
Ive got three ships and sixty men
A course for ports unread.
Ill stand at mast, let north winds blow
Till half of us are dead.
Land ho!
If I get my hands on a dollar bill
Gonna buy a bottle and drink my fill.
If I get my hands on a number five
Gonna skin that little girl alive.
If I get my hands on a number two
Come back home and marry you
Marry you, marry you.
Land ho!, land ho!
If I get back home and I feel all right
You dont baby gonna love you tonight
Land ho!


Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Motorcycle Diaries

Excerpts from Diary:

Sunshine on my wings…

Well, here I am, on the fly, with sun shinning in the sky, on the Boeing wings, over the blue earth. And I am all set to set my dreams true. I am leaving….

I am happy for daring to do what I love to do, for living the life the way I wanted to, some, if not completely. Out of nowhere this thought has come into my mind that why we regret for what we don’t have? Why we forget to make most out of what we have and enjoy? There are millions of such thoughts that come into our mind. I think its upto us to be happy or not…to live the life or not…..

Ow! lest I get emotional….leave it…..anyways feeling happy…will reach Delhi tonight and then tommorow morning will get my steed unloaded from nizamuddin station and then load it back

And then will start my journey… first of its kind ….chalo that’s it for today… the way have ya ever watched sunset from over the clouds? No? fella you are missing out something great!!!

Day 1, 1:20 pm, IST, Nizamuddin

I woke up early in the morning after having sound sleep, went to nizamuddin station and felt good to see my Gulabo there without any damage. I took the packing off, paid some bribes and left for Karol bagh to buy the panniers and other necessary tools, but to my surprise all the shops were closed, reason? “Delhi election”. Heck…..i had this hunch somehow L . I parked my bike in front of one of the closed shop and sit beside the closed shutter watching the empty streets and cursing my luck. Then pushed off and decided to roam around Delhi. I had been to Delhi many times before but this time I was here as a touristJ . Dressed up like tourists, goggles, camera in one hand and and laptop on my shoulder….i went to India gate, humayun tomb, took some pictures and then came back to my room. Then I remember Anukaran from Nagpur bullet club gave me the number of few Delhi Royal Beasters. I called up Avinash (The Chief) of Beasters and asked him for help. He was kind and asked me to call up in the evening…

Day 1, 9:29 pm IST, Nizamuddin

Back after getting some work done. Gaurav from Royal Beasters came to my rescue and lend his panniers. Had a nice little time with him then drove on the beautiful Delhi roads on my steed, a long time dream come true!!…went to India gate also, sat there for a while. The place looked beautiful in the night, as I imagined. The “Jai Jawan” stone, eternal flames burning around with the view of south block behind was amazing; it brings back the patriot in you.

Got all the necessary medicines, few maps, topped up the tank, had dinner and now back for nice sleep. Tommorow early morning I will start my journey. I may join beasters for their 5th anniversary ride to some place around Nainital but not sure which way these dudes gonna take. Still I don’t have enough tools and could not wait till Karol bagh shops will open at 10:30 am so let’s see if I could get some in Meerut… till then, driving on luck …J. Now have to pack my stuff… so for today, good night diary!!!

Saturday, 9:09 pm IST, Nainital, Kumaon

So I missed yesterday dear diary. Ok, there was a funny story behind it. First let me tell you in detail about the journey of last two days. Well Friday early morning at 6 am I started from Nizamuddin towards Meerut. Through Delhi ring road, watching the sunrise I crossed Delhi border in few minutes and reached Meerut. Hey I told you na that I was running on my luck without any spares? Yep I called up Rana from Meerut and asked him if he could find any Enfield showroom in Meerut through web. He gave details and I reached Tamanna motors in paccha park, Meerut. I waited there for 30 mins as I reached lil’ early and then got few spares and changed my Air filter. I left for Lansdowne through Bijnor-Najibabad-Kotdwara. After kotdwara, there are beautiful hill ghats (Shivalik Hills Range) to Lansdowne. On the way you’ll find Tea stalls and other shops but beware while driving, people are crazy the way they drive there. Lansdowne is basically nothing but a small village of pahari people on top of one of the shivalik range hills and the main attraction is Garwal regiment and its training centre. I reached pretty early there and again had to fight for a room. Finally I got room with three bedsJ. I thought okay, three beds …fineJ. I was lil’ tired and jumped on bed. I opened my eyes when I heard knocking on my door. “Sharmaji, darwaja kholengey please? I opened the doors and saw this hotel guy with a big fat moustache geek. “Sharmaji kya yeh yahan pe ruk saktey hai ek bed pe, koi problem nahi hogi apko please”. I was sleepy and said “okay dude get in”. Fatso brought his luggage and the moment he opened his mouth, I knew this guy is punjabi and first thing he said after he entered,“Mein ji zarra toilet hokey aaya mennu piles di problem hai” . He came back in no time and another thing I find about this fatso is that he can’t close his mouth and a typical phattey baaj chatterbox without caring if other guy is listening to him or not. I was‘nt paying any attention to him and was just nodding to whatever he was saying. He started telling about his business and other stuff. Initially I was lil’ afraid if this fatso is some kinda HomoJ. Mein soch raha tha sala raat ko pad gaya mere pe to mushkil ho jayegi, kisko awaaz lagaunga in paharo mein?. He was talking about anything , about his life, the places he went to like germany, spain, italy and how he use to spent his time. Like how he bonks there with some funny stories in funny language called Punglish (Punjabe and English).

After some time I felt comfortable thinking that I am on the safer sideJ. He told me that one day in Germany, he was sitting in his hotel room and put on his TV and played some porno channel and then suddenly TV remote got struck and he called up reception. Then a lady comes to his help and he said “TV working not, remote problem” lady fixed it in a moment and the moment it got fixed, the TV started playing same old porno channel. Fatso said he just hide his face with shame but the lady asked “You like this stuff?” he said yes and she said “ok, you call me later”. Fatso called her and fixed the rate 70 Euro for two trips J…..Hmmm stories like this you know. I had to wake up early in the morning but if this guy would allow me his mercyL. Then I dusscussed the route with this guy and came to know that I have to go all the way back till Najibabad to reach Jim Corbett park. I walked outside for few minutes, talked with pahari people; I love pahari people …myself being a pahariJ. We finally slept at 12 in the night.

Next day morning again I loaded my steed at 6:30 am and left. Early morning climing down the Hills felt good, had a nice Tea made in pahadi style. On the way in Ramnagar I luckily saw the spare shop and got foot pump, screw drivers and plier. Now I had all the stuff for fixing puncture.

I reaced Corbett at 12:30 pm and came back to Ramnagar from there I took NH to Nainital. Again the roads to Nainital are amazingly laid. I reached Nainital at 5 pm and negotiated a good deal for nice room. Went to Mall road, had dinner in sher-e-punjaab hotel and now I am back to hotel. By the way if you like non-veg food then sher-e-punjaab on the mall road is nice one and must visit. Chalo decided the route for tommorow and going for some sleep now.

Sunday, 8:42 pm IST, Bagheshwar

Hmm this time I started little late in the morning at 8 am reason being I liked the hotel room and wanted to take enough rest in that beautiful place. I filled gas and was on mall road in a moment. From there took a turn towards Bhowali which takes you to the Mukteshwar route. Again the roads were nice till 24km before Mukteshwar but the road construction work is going on. But I loved the drive to Mukteshwar. Reached there and took some rest. Well from Mukteshwar you can get the near view of Himalayas and that will leave you mesmerized. There is a small walking lane which takes you to the rocks on top of the hill. I took my bike through that that small lane, parked it in front of forest officer’s bungalow, climed the rock and watched the mountains around from top. The view was amazing!! I came back where my bike was parket and saw this beautiful pahari girl, I guess she was forest officer’s daughter but she caught my attention, I tried to look at her and she replied as she was hanging washed cloths on wire…. ahhh lovely moment ..How I loved to fall in love with her, she was beautiful with pristine pure looks. For a moment I thought I will stop there for some more time and stare her but L….i had to leave. And I left Mukteshwar with broken heart and singing “Gori teri ankhen kahen…” towards bhowali and from there to almora-binsar (through Binsar National Park) and bagheshwar. Got a cheap room, had heavy dinner outside, took a walk around the empty village streets. Initially I had the plans to go to Munsiyari but after reaching bagheshwar I come to know that Munsyari is around 142km from here and that would easily take two days and I want to use this time to go to Gangotri so dropped the munsyari plan. Tommorow will leave for Karnaprayag and if possible Rudraprayag. Ok, today I am not feeling healthy have to go for sleep soon. Yaaawn…

Monday, 9:40 pm IST, Chamba, UA

I started early in the morning at 6:30 am from Bagheshwar. Had a nice Tea on the way to Baijnath. Kamlesh told me that his home is on the way 8 km before Gwaldam.So I asked him the exact village name, and it was Sirkote. I looked for his home there and met with his father. Damn!!! What a nice place he lives in. You can see the Himalayas right from the balcony of his house. I was impressed. Had a nice chat with his Dad and left for Karanprayag. I love early morning rides, everything looks so fresh, so pure. On the way I pushed down to 4th gear on mountain roads and on one turn, my rubber lost its grip and I had a nice fall. Me and my Horse slided and swanged 180 degreesJ. But I escaped safe but with two broken bends on panniers, broken horn and bend on crash guard. My knee guards took all the scratches. I had this thought that these skating pads are almost useless for rides but still, I use to wear them thinking once I’ll fall, I’ll see if they are helpful otherwise I’ll throw them right away…but they are worth!!!. I had breakfast in Gwaldam and headed towards Karnaprayag. Last night I decided that I will drop munsyari plan and ride till Rudraprayag but I reached Rudraprayag quite early and headed towards Srinagar. From Srinagar, I started for New Tehri as I have decided to go to Gangotri the next day. The road to Tehri is beside the Ganga. On the way I took along many hitchhikers and get the route details from locals wherever I could. I met one bawa cycling all the way from Shirdi and going to all 12 dhams around the country. This guy lost his one leg and still doing this on a cycle. He gave me the Sai Baba post card as a token of gift and in exchange I offered him vibhuti of sai baba temple in Bangalore that I kept in pouch in my wallet, this felt nice.

When I reached Tehri someone told me that instead I can go to chamba and stay there if I am planning for Gangotri. Chamba was 30 km more from Tehri, it was already dark by then but I decided to push off. I reached here at 8:30 pm and got room.

Thursday, 9:19 pm IST, Mussorie, UA

Again I missed two days here. Where was i? Yeah from Chamba I left for Gangotri. The roads were not fully opened to Gangotri; restoration work was still going on. Only light vehicles were allowed and in Gangotri everything was closed as “Mandir Patts” were supposed to open after 19th April. I guess, I was among the first few hoteliers who reached there after the entries are allowed. These roads remain closed for six months ….Indian Army stays there during that time. There was no electricity, no cellular signal, no STDs, no shops open there. I was lucky to get one Hotel there whose owner also reached there one day before me. Even though the roads were badly damaged with landslides (sometimes live landslidesJ), glaciers, I enjoyed the rugged rideJ . Pannier’s welding got broken again and few screws fell off so when I reached Uttarkashi, I fix everything and topped up engine oil with 1 litre 20W40 castrol engine oil. After uttarkashi you can see the closer view of Himalayas, the mountains are too high and when you drive, you just can’t look downJ . Once you reach Harsil, you are there man; you can feel the embrace of great Himalayas. As you ride through, you cross Lanka, Bhaironghati and Gangotri the real Himalayas, it feels great… some kind of amazing feeling when you look at them from so close. My hotel room was just beside the Himalaya Mountain and Ganga flowing in between ahh!!! I went for a small walk to the Gangotri mandir and other places around in the evening. On the way you will find a way towards China border, “Nelong” which is just 23 km but the entry is restricted by Army. Next day morning I left Himalayas with blessed feeling. This time ride back to Chamba was so boring that I had to take too many breaks and relax. I reached Chamba at 4:00 pm, took my lunch and headed towards Dhanaulti where I was planning to stay. After few kms the roads were amazing and I reached Dhanaulti before time. The place is awesome, the mountains, trees, roads, everything. So I decided to head on and reach Mussorie and plan to take a day off from riding and enjoy some time there in Mussorie. I took a nice Hotel with “f.a.n.t.a.s.t.i.c” view of Mussorie Mountains. I went to Mall road today and did some shopping for my sis’ and arranged everything to start by tommorow towards Shimla through Chakrata-Theog-Kufri -Shimla. Good Night!!!

Monday 5:35 pm IST, Jammu

Finally I finished this ride. I reached here in Jammu on Saturday, a day before I expected to reach. My plan was to stay at Dharamshala on Saturday and push off for Jammu on Sunday morning but the roads in Himachal Pradesh are unexpectedly so great that I reached Jammu the day I started from Shimla morningJ. And I missed a day here too from …so from Chakrata till tuini you will ride through Hills desert with not a soul around for 80 km and once you lost your way, you are gone like what happened to me but I was lucky after 30 mins wait , I found a Tractor coming my way and showed me the the way. After tuini you cross the UA border and enter HP even in Tuini you see lot of vehicles with HP registration.

I took enough rest here at home and now I am as fresh as ever. Ready to face the mad world!!!

Today when I stand and look back, I see hundreds of mountains I have crossed, the air of differenet places I have smelled, the hitchhikers I have taken to their destination, the people I have met and discussed with them the destination route over Tea, the lessons I have learned, the smiles on beautiful faces, the momentary love I had for them and so many more unexplain things and sweet moments that will remain in my heart for years to come…I feel, I am much more serene today !

My heart is a wanderer in love, may it ever remain so.
My life’s been rendered miserable in love,
may it grow more and more miserable.



Thursday, March 08, 2007

I love you perfect...

Have you ever fallen in love? how many times? countless? don’t you think the feeling is so amazing!!!……have you ever looked at someone and feel at first sight that she is the one, that you know her before…long before…and that feeling of belonging? …..have you ever put her picture in your laptop wallpaper and looked it for hours? Try it dear!

Falling in love is amazing… happens many times and each time it feels as fresh as you felt before…you feel like spreading your wings and fly high and feel like your heart is pounding…….and the feeling when your soul cries for you to know that you are never gonna get your love but still you love your love……

Somesay don’t fall in love, rise in love……i say fucking fall in love…..falling is such a great feeling like all the chains and balls holding you back, have suddenly cut loose, like a bird feels when someone free her out of the cage, like a prisoner feels when he sees out of the prison gates first time when he is freed…..for him the world is a beautiful place and how he love to fall in love with it……with life….afresh!

Somesay love at first sight is fake, i say its “the truth”…..when you look into the eyes of stranger and suddenly it holds you back and you realize something like you are going to fall into her eyes and lost? That moment when you lost yourself completely into her dusky eyes is not fake…and then you know why we say “eyes are the windows to your soul”…….how true!!!!……

And oh! that sad feeling in the end ….that you never gonna get her…but still…lying alone in your room in the midnight, with your hands holding your head back, cool breeze of air blowing in through your window to your face… are staring at her picture with her ever smiling face….her innocent eyes…like they are saying…

i love you… i love you perfect!!!!