Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Chal dil mere...

Long time back when I was small, and very new to this world, I use to go to unknown place ...alone.

If I remember correctly when I was about about 6 or 7, I was living in my village for a year or so as my father was on deputation and we had to stay with our Grands. My village was a very calm place with beautiful nature, big hills, tall trees, and rivers. I was always attracted to that calmness and wanted to explore it but as I was small, my parents always keep an eye on me. But in the afternoons when everybody goes to sleep, I use to pick up my small multi-colored-umbrella (gifted to me by my sweet granny) and runaway to the unknown places, to find those unexplored hills and for you to know, I do not fear. I was brave. I find the tall tree, big hill so cool. After reaching middle of the jungle, I use to sit under the big trees, sleep over the dry leafs from those big trees, which gives me the warmth of silk and embrace of mother. Lying there for hours, I used to dream and dream and dream. Sometimes I see the big caravan of the afghani tribals moving down the hills with their families, animals and other stuff. I used to feel good watching the caravan. All in queue coming down the hill. My grandmother use to tell me that these Afghans live far away up the hills and come down during winters only. Sitting at top of the hills and watching the whole world down under my feet at the age of 7-8 makes feel great. I can never forget that feeling ever. Then one fine day, my father came down and took us to the Ultra modern era and to hell lot of places.

Time goes by and I was growing big in that automated world but that fire, that urge, that feeling to runaway somewhere alone was still there. Then one good day, my father brought me BSA-SLR after a long tussle with him. And man I knew by that time that I have got my dream machine which will take me to those places that I craved for a long long time. I still remember the first ride on my BSA-SLR (crenchy style :) ). Then what? I use to come from school, take my lunch, wait for everybody to go for afternoons sleep and runaway...

Hot afternoons, empty roads and me on my BSA-SLR, alone, going to nowhere. I had bought one black goggles. Damn! !! cool.....

My father sometimes use to beat the hell out of me for doing all this crazy stuff. Some people still remember me as the BSA SLR guy :)

And when I go to my village these days, some old people still remember me as that Umbrella child. All of those oldies are my friend now. Whenever I visit there, I make sure I meet them and have fun!

I was growing old and losing everything inside me. When you grow up you got to do weird things you know. My father wanted me to become something and hell lot of other things that I won't discuss here. The point is, I was losing on me. Emptiness was filling me. I was becoming depressed moron for so many reasons and I started to fear loneliness, started hating my inner being and so many things. I really do not remember my time after that till some time back when I again realized my dream. My dream of going to explore things, dream of running away somewhere.

I started loving my loneliness, the calmness, the trees, the hills, exploring new places, and so many more unexplained things. I have nothing today but dream that is keeping me alive. And I have the means to achieve it.

You know what? Big boy got a big machine these days

and he will runaway…

Chal DIL mere choD Yeh Pheeree
Yeh duniya jhooti loog lutareey
Chal DIL mere choor Yeh Pheere
Yeh duniya jhooti loog lutareee
Chal DIL mereeeee

1 comment:

$@%#&(*! said...

Hi.... That was really touching...
after all it's your childhood identity you claming..!!